The one or 2 readers of this blog probably know that my main celebrity squeeze is Eddie Vedder. And if you're so inspired you'll go back and read last summers blog entries on where his name appears quite a bit....
Eddie's voice first entered my life when I was 14 years old when I bought this new CD by this Band Pearl Jam who was causing all this stir. As I listened to Eddie rock and sing about bitter unrequited love (Black), and about misunderstood youth (Jeremy) and as the anger rolled off that album in glorious rifts, I thought, now this is someone who gets me.
Now, being 14 doesn't mean I was ready for commitment, and I went through a series of other rockers and pop stars who got me, and over time Eddie and I drifted apart, but would occasionally meet for a rendezvous. We got together for coffee over Yield and No Code, and we'd sip wine over Vitalogy. I was reminded of his sweet baritone voice and passion for making the world a better place again at years later at the Vote for Change concert when he showed how he can bring the house down again. But, the timing for something was off and I'd go my separate way. But Eddie was always in the back of my mind. And last summer he'd come running into my life again at full force.
If you have an amazing memory, you'll remember that it was around this time last year that I randomly received free tickets to a Pearl Jam concert at the Verizon Center here in DC. Jason has always been a huge Pearl Jam fan, and it just happened to coincide with our 10 year wedding anniversary. Our tickets were in the BET box, and it just so happened a colleague, Sarah had scored the same tickets. We settled into our box, and for the next 3 hours Pearl Jam rocked our faces off. And as I stared at Eddie with amazement, I fell in love again. He sang with passion and spoke about the upcoming election with more passion. And with every rift, and words, my heels fell over my head and I was hooked. Again.
The one or 2 readers of this blog will also remember, if they have nothing better to do than to read my not so updated blog every day because they miss seeing my witty views, that it was about this time last year that my fingers and toes started feeling numb and tingly, and than my legs felt like bricks and I could barely lift them to walk. And I would begin having daily make out sessions with the pavement. And it never once bought me a drink. And if you read this blog, you'll remember I was diagnosed with Guillan-Barre Syndrome, a autoimmune disorder in which your immune system starts attacking the peripheral nervous system. It’s a curable, and usually it goes away in time, but getting over it is the difficult part. After your immune system is done kicking your nervous systems butt, you now need to learn how to use your body again, and some how get it back to normal. (My blog entries from last summer chronicle this in more detail.)
I was very lucky to have a mild case, I didn't require hospitalization. However, I still had to regain strength in my body. And I had to get Gravity to stop picking on me and pulling me down on to every sidewalk I passed. Getting better meant months of physical and occupational therapy. Getting better meant having to put my pride down for moment and let the amazing people surrounding me help me. Which they did, and I'm forever in debt.
At every PT and OT appointment I had Pearl Jam in my ears, they pissed me off enough to give me the strength to kick this things ass. And Eddie's Into the Wild Soundtrack gave me the inspiration to be better. When Eddie was singing to me, everything was going to be okay.
And because this post is so long, my one reader will now remember how Eddie came to DC last summer to do a solo show. It was amazing. He ravished me with every chord. I telepathically communicated with him thanking him. You'll remember how after the show my friends Sarah and Suzanne waited for him, but alas I had to be a good mother and go home to relieve the sitter. And how for months I lived vicariously through them. And though I was insanely jealous, knew that I would I get my chance.
In April, I stepped out of my office and came back with several post it notes all over it from Sarah, about the urgency of a very important matter. I called Sarah, and it was an Urgent matter. Eddie Vedder was going back on tour and was doing a show in Baltimore, and as Ten Club members we had chance to be in the lottery of pre-sale. Well, our luck didn't pan out for pre-sale, but it did for public sale and we scored tickets. The show wasn't' until June, and we would spend the next 2 months waiting in anticipation for the show.
June 15 came and Sarah, Jason, Suzanne and i piled into a Prius, as only Eddie would, and headed up to Baltimore, to once again have Eddie rock our faces off. He's amazing with Pearl Jam, but his solo shows are phenomenal. He sings and tells little stories. And once again, Sarah, Suzanne and gripped hands as he sang to us. And my crush kept growing. If you can believe that. I was no longer head over heels, I was back flip over back flip.
And now for the moral part of the story:Boys and girls, don't ever let anyone tell you you can't do something or that dreams can' t come true.
And than it happened. I MET EDDIE FREAKING VEDDER.
Sarah, Jason and I along with 30 other fans (Suzanne sadly had to leave) ,stood outside to get a glimpse of the Vedder himself. The bodyguard came out and laid down the law: no autographs, no photos with him, and no hugging, they apparently had had a crazy hugger the night before. (Damn crazy obsessed fans. ;))
And than there he was. He had a big smile on his face, a Corona Light in one hand, a cigarette in the other. His amazingness right in front of me. My body was shaking. He went to every fan and looked them all in the eye and shook their hand. He look genuinely happy and humbled to meet all these people who just wanted one moment to thank him. I was in awe, I was finally so close to my crush, someone who''s music who helped me cope, and whose political and environmental activism inspired me and he was everything I imagined.
And than there he was in front of me taking my hand looking me in the eye. As his eyes locked with mine and his hand entwined with mine, I was awestruck. And with my shaky voice I thanked him for his music helping me over the last crazy year, a very brief synopsis of what went down, and he gazed at me and though my memory is hazy, I remember his look on my face, the words "you're amazing'' and "You did that!" My amazing husband photo documented the moment. And Sarah was by my side.
And, just when I thought, I could break up with Eddie Vedder after meeting him. That we could move on our separate ways. I'd still listen to Pearl Jam but with a fondness and nostalgia.
And than he looked at me like that, and the world went spinning in circles. And I knew this crush wasn't going anywhere. It had been fueled. I was back spring, somersault, head over heels over and over again in love.
I like when the universe who has been kicking you in the shins, gives you a little break, and reminds you that the kicking is so that rewards like this can be truly appreciated.
Of course in my delusional mind, EV can't get me out his mind either, and he is going to search the world high and low to find me. And next time we meet, it's going to be over a beer. Because the Universe can never be to nice.
