A Little Help From My Friends

As I mentioned before we have a huge support system here by the name of the Argocrew. And these are the most amazing people I've ever met and have ever been around.

I've been letting everyone know what's been going on via this blog, email and a few frantic phone calls here and there. And the kind words and thoughts that are being sent my and my family's way is like a wave of adrenaline.

There have been a lot of comments on how strong I've been through this ordeal and what a good attitude I've been maintaining. And after some serious thought about it tonight, I think it's because I know I'm not alone. I have about 50 people on call right now, and that's very comforting. And that makes me brave, and strong.

I'm not a mushy person, expressing feelings and emotion is not what I'm about. But today the 30 emails I received from my friends with nothing but well wishes and offers from cleaning my house to cooking me dinner to getting Eddie Vedder for me to lick made me sob like a baby. It all moved me in such a way I almost created a river that I was going to have to swim in.

Ally and Jack are the luckiest kids in the world to be surrounded by such love. The family of friends we have created here in DC is irreplaceable.

You all know who you are, and I thank you. You have all made me speechless with your kindness and you know that must say something!

Diagnosed

I have been Diagnosed. On Friday while we where driving in the mountains on our way to Pittsburgh to visit my parents, my neurologist left me a voice mail.

My brain looks good, and yes there are in fact a large gnome population residing in it. The large population explains my superior intelligence and well, just general awesomeness. And the MRI showed no signs of MS which is good.

The EMG, also known as the torture me with electricity and needles did confirm that I do have Gillain Barre Syndrome. And carpal tunnel.

Now that we have an answer I'm trying to absorb it all. We are still monitoring me this week to make sure I don't worsen. I feel like my manual dexterity is getting worse, but it's hard for me to know being I haven't been able to figure out things for weeks. My stair climbing ability is not so awesome but the good news is I can climb them. Jason and I are going to time how quickly- now that's funny- I stagger up them to monitor the situation. I'm really hoping I don't end up in the hospital this week because if you've read the website I had on a previous post- NOT FUN!

I'm meeting with the doctor this week to go over some things. It could take me weeks or years to get better. I will also need physical therapy to repair the damage done to my weakened muscles. Before I got sick I was running a lot and had run a few 10 mile races in the last few months. I have a 10 miler in October and I 'd like to run it. But we'll see what happens. Maybe instead I'll host a Gillain- Barre Fun Run and have Eddie Vedder preform, mainly so I can lick him. I hear he has great healing powers.

Jason and I are also figuring stuff out and asking for help. Which if you know me is a huge deal. I'm very independent and like to do things myself. But, being my mobility is very limited, I'm learning that help is what I need. What a growing experience. My parents have Jack this week which will be a huge help. Funny how all of a sudden a 3 year old seems manageable. They also sent us home with dinner for almost every night so I don't have to cook. Our niece is coming in a few weeks to stay for 2 weeks to help with kid juggling and chores. And we'll figure it out from there.

As for my mood. I'm feeling a little down. I'm scared. I already feel like crap and can't imagine what this thing will do to me if it gets worse. I'm also angry. Why does my immune system hate me? Come on, it's supposed to fight germs, not my nerves.

Funny how this blog has become the blog on everything you need to know on an obscure neurological conditional. Stay tuned.

The Inside of My Head

I had my MRI this morning. Their main focus was to look at my brain and my spinal cord. The MRI wasn't nearly as bad as it was yesterday. I only had one needle today and that was to put some stuff in my body so I'm guessing the could make my organs glow. I keep hoping the stuff will make me pee neon green but no such luck yet. The MRI tube freaked me out a little, but it wasn't bad. Luckily Jack was awake a lot last night so I was able to doze.

I'll probably meet with the Doctor next week to go over the results of all these tests. I didn't really go into detail what they were looking for, because I was still digesting it myself. The doctor ordered the MRI to basically rule out MS. At this point he doesn't think it's MS but the doctor thinks it may be something called Guillain-Barre Syndrome. This is a syndrome in where my immune system may be attacking my peripheral nervous system. Sometimes it just goes away and sometimes a person needs to be admitted for treatment. So if what I have is Guillain Barre Syndrome, we are basically monitoring me to so see if I get worse. Which is more difficult than one would think, because I can't feel my hands or feet, so how do I know?

So basically there are still a lot of questions to be answered, and we should have answers soon. It's just a waiting game basically.

I'm actually surprised at how calm I am. I'm looking at this practically. What else can I do? The one thing I really want though is to see the pictures of my brain. How cool would that be?

So that's it for today. More information pending. Here is a link to information on Guillain-Barre Syndrome: http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/gbs/gbs.htm

Doctor, Doctor

Well this morning began yet another exciting adventure into our lives. For the last few weeks I've been experiencing a numbness and tingling in my hands and feet. I've also felt my legs becoming very heavy and weak, where walking and well, staying upright has been challenging. Oh that gravity always bringing you down. My knees look like that on an 8 year old boy, all skinned up and oh so pretty. Ally decorates them quite often with Hello Kitty band aids.

Knowing that these symptoms are not normal, I went to my GP a few weeks ago and he drew blood but it all came back normal. So, off to a neurologist I went to this morning. We talked about what was going on, he made me do a few tricks, trying to stand on one foot, the other being walk the sobriety line. I failed. If only I was full of a few martinis first.

He than suggested that we do a few test to rule out a few things and to figure things out. The one test I have tomorrow is your classic MRI to look at my brain. I hope they don't find a whole village of gnomes in there. The other test I had today, an EMG. It was not so awesome.

Jason the brave soul he is, came along with me today. We trekked on the metro to Chevy Chase. To the neurology center up there where we were greeted by a brutish Eastern European woman, who asked to what relation Jason was to me and sent him out of the room. She than had me change into a classy hospital gown and had me lie down where she than proceeded to put electrodes on me and shoot me full of electricity in various places around my arms and legs. And she didn't talk to me the whole time, and when my body jerked with surprise or pain she told me to lie still and relax. RELAX? Really? Tell you what lady, let's switch places and you can relax.

Dr. Shock Electrodes left and there I was alone in the exam room for an hour and half waiting for the second part of my test.

Second part you say? Wasn't being shot with electricity enough? No it really wasn't. This other doctor came in. A nice elderly Mediterranean man who talked nonstop about heroin addicts and psychotics as he poked both of my arms and one of my legs repeatedly with a needle. Just one leg you ask? He felt how weak my one leg was during the process and had a heart to stop. Nice guy.

So that was round one of tests. Like I said tomorrow is the MRI. I looked into and it doesn't look like any torture techniques are going to be involved. I just need to skip breakfast. That could be torture.

So I will post again tomorrow once we figure more out. It's a wierd proccess, but I'm not freaking out about anything yet. And for those who know me, you know that's a huge step.

Afterglow

My eyelids are heavy and I'm plotting the quickest and fastest way to do my post bedtime chores so I can be in bed at say 8:30 am, but under neath it all I'm cuddling with the sweet afterglow of a declicious weekend.

As I may have mentioned Jason and I have had a couple of bad weeks. And you're probably sick of my whining, at least the 2 readers that read this blog, but you're just going to have to deal with it. But I digress, occasionlly we have little rainbow here and there, and well this weekend was one of them.

Friday was our 10 year wedding anniversary, so to celebrate our brave, brave, brave friend Auntie Christa came and spent the night with the little cherubs while we went spent the night at this really great historic hotel here in DC. Though we weren't very far from our homes or our jobs, those 20 hours of quiet and nothing were bliss. We did nothing. We slept all night. We relaxed. It was glorious and our batteries were recharged for us to step back into the madness. I think that we are going to make these little overnight get-a-ways a little more frequent. I used to think maybe a nice snort of cocaine would be get me going, but I 'm wrong. A full night's sleep is a real upper.

Our children were happy upon our return and of course we were happy to see them. We had in impromptu dinner party where Jason fried some chicken. It was delcious. Sunday was a pool party. Yada, yada yada.

But the grand finale came last night with Jason and I attending a Pearl Jam concert. I got free tickets randomly on Thursday. Right place, right time. If you have never have had the chance to see this band live, I assure you will not be dissapointed! I've listened to Pearl Jam and before last night thought they were okay. But last night's show blew me away. The crowd was sending out engergy and Eddie Vedder absorbed it and gave it back. The band played for 3 hours which is unheard of these days. I tell thee to get yourselves to a Pearl Jam concert now!

Now, It's Monday and i'm still cuddling with Eddie Vedder and the weekend for a few more mintues.

10 Years In The Making

Tomorrow will mark Jason and my 10 year wedding anniversary. That's right 10 FREAKING years! I can hardly believe it myself.

I become very pensive and thoughtful when it comes to such events. I've been looking at him in a different light this week. I can hardly believe that he's been able to put up with me for 10 years. I can be very difficult to live with. I know some of you may find that hard to believe, but I can be a bit of drama queen.

Our relationship, like all relationships, have not been easy and there have been many, many, many moments when it may be have been easier to call the other person a poopy pants and just walk out the door never to be heard from again, but for what ever reason, we haven't' done that. We've stuck through it, and I'm proud of that.

In a time where it's so easy to call it quits, we haven't'. The last year has been a lot of the Universe taking it's cosmo nervous breakdown out on us, we still somehow smile at the end of the day, knowing that we're still here for each other and we're still together.

Our roles have changed and the chaos has grown. We now have a 3 year old and 9 month old. Those of course have changed our lives drastically. Instead of adventures of being chased through Mexican Jungles our adventures now involve who is going to take what kid at 3 AM when they are both screaming.

I see it as a form of evolution. We're evolving. Adapting as our environment changes. As we change. As those around us change.

As as weird and has hard as things get, I couldn't imagine a better person to evolve with than Jason.

Jesus Rode a Dinosoaur

There is a group of about 20 of us who hang out regulary. In fact we amuse ourselves so damn much that we created a list serve so we can pass on important information and musings. Though 20 of us meet regularly, about 40 people are on the list serve because well, we just sound so damn awesome. Who wouldn't want to listen to us.

We call our selves the Argo Crew, named after the bar we hang out at regularly-The Argonaut.

And discussions like to today make me want to toungue kiss everyone in this group at once.

Jason: From the classic kids biblical coloring book... awesome.
http://i27.tinypic.com/2h6yet5.jpg

Me: I disagree with the artists interpretation. I really do not see Jesus riding a T-Rex but maybe a Tricertops. I hear they are easier to train.

Gary: I think Jesus will ride aT-Rex at the second coming -- it's easier to separate sheep from the goats with at T-Rex.

Katie: Why not ride a Pteranodon so he could fly? Question...aren't dinosaurs bigger than the ark?

Christa: Maybe they took 2 dinosaur eggs of each type. Jesus raised them from babies, which is why he was able to ride the otherwise ferocious T-rex. Or, the fossil records are also wrong about the size of dinos, and they were much smaller.Wonder if they have Jesus riding a dinosaur here? http://www.theholylandexperience.com/All amusement parks should have a dinosaur ride.

Sarah: Well, clearly that's a miniature T-rex...unless Jesus grows to enormous proportions when it is time for dinosaur riding.

KJ: Maybe he's a grow in water Jesus - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dd9PuoPpOK8

And now you too want to join the list serve right? Or at least ride a dinosaur.